Autism – tips for parents

Parenting an autistic child may bring some extra challenges. Your doctor, pediatrician, therapists and local autism associations can all offer useful information and advice. Other parents of autistic children are often a great source of practical tips and suggestions, so it can help to join a support group where you can share experiences in an understanding environment.

Coming to terms with a diagnosis#

An autism diagnosis can stir up many different feelings for parents and carers. Some go through an initial period of worry or distress, which is completely normal. Others feel a sense of relief at finally being able to put a name to what they have noticed in their child.

Many parents and carers also experience grief and a sense of loss for the future they had imagined, which may now look different.

Some people feel a mixture of all of these things. Whatever your reaction, it is valid and normal.

During this time, you may find it helpful to:

• Consider counseling to help you manage your own feelings about the diagnosis.
• Learn about the different approaches that can support your child’s development, so you can find the best fit for your child and family.

Good starting points include your pediatrician or the health professionals who assessed your child. Other parents of children on the autism spectrum can also be excellent sources of information.

Finding reliable information#

Reputable parent guides and autism support organizations can help you find trustworthy information about the wide range of therapies and interventions available. A good guide explains what the research says about a therapy and the approximate time and costs involved, and helps families understand what to expect.

When searching online, remember that not all information is reliable. Check anything you read with your doctor or autism professionals, and be wary of any website that claims a “cure” for autism.

Autism is a lifelong condition. While many therapies and strategies can support your child’s development, there is no cure. To choose well:

• Seek advice from your child’s pediatrician.
• Talk to the other professionals involved in the diagnosis. Your child’s diagnostic report will usually include recommendations.

It can be worth gathering information on any program you are considering and discussing it with the medical or allied health team who know your child.

Choose evidence-based programs#

Only choose therapy programs that are evidence based. This means they have been properly evaluated to see whether they work reliably. Make sure the people offering the program are properly qualified. Ask about staff qualifications, their ongoing professional development and their experience working with autistic children.

Find out about the time, effort and cost involved. You may not have the time or resources for an intensive program because of work or other children. Some programs are designed for children of a particular age or with particular abilities, so check that the therapy is appropriate for your child.

Be wary of programs that claim to work for all autistic children. Their approach may be too broad to be genuinely useful.

As a parent, you know the things your child finds difficult. When researching therapists and programs, keep your child’s specific needs in mind. Good therapy is family centered, which means listening to parents and what they would like to work on. Remember, you are the expert on your own child.

Looking after yourself#

Parenting can be stressful. Tips for coping include:

• Make time for yourself, and share the load with your partner or others where you can.
• Take your time making decisions about therapy, and weigh up what is best for the whole family.
• Connect with other parents on a similar journey, which can help you build friendships with people who understand.
• Find time to look after yourself, whether that is taking a walk, practicing mindfulness, or attending workshops that can help you.
• Ask friends and family for support.

Behaviors of concern#

Some autistic children may show behaviors of concern. These are behaviors that put the child, other people or property at risk. They often stem from difficulties with understanding or expressing communication, or with managing emotions.

A behavior support practitioner can help you understand your child’s behavior. Talk to your child’s healthcare professionals, such as their psychologist, behavior therapist, occupational therapist or speech pathologist, for advice.

Siblings of autistic children can also benefit from support, and many organizations offer resources to help brothers and sisters. If you are struggling, talk to someone you trust, whether that is a friend, family member or counselor, and consider respite care and a parent support group.

Key points#

• An autism diagnosis can bring a range of feelings, and all reactions are valid and normal.
• Choose therapy programs that are evidence based and delivered by properly qualified people.
• Be wary of any program that claims a cure or claims to work for every autistic child.
• Look after your own wellbeing and reach out to support groups and other parents.
• You are the expert on your own child.

Where to get help#