When caring for a loved one with a life-limiting illness, it is important to look after your own health and wellbeing so that you have the energy and strength your caring role demands. Support is available to help you and your family through these difficult times.
Your relationship with the person you care for#
It is normal to have ups and downs in your relationship with the person you are caring for. The stress of coming to terms with a life-limiting illness, its impact on the family, and the physical and mental exhaustion of caring can all take a toll. At times your relationship may feel strained; at other times it may feel stronger than ever.
While caring for someone, it is important to keep the lines of communication open. You may find it difficult to talk with the person you care for about their illness and the possibility of dying. For some people humor can help, but be sensitive to the other person’s mood in case it is not well received.
Looking after your physical health#
It can be easy to put your own needs last, but if you are feeling tired or stressed it is important to look after yourself so you can keep caring for the person who needs you most. Keep doing the activities you enjoy outside of your caring role.
Taking regular breaks from caring will help you avoid becoming worn out. Eating and sleeping well, relaxing, being physically active and looking after your own health can give you the energy and vitality you need.
Respite care#
Carer support and respite care services can help you take a break from your caring role. Ask your palliative care service about your respite options. A volunteer might stay with your loved one while you take a short break. If you need a longer break, you could arrange respite care for the person you are caring for, so you can have time away to rest and recuperate.
Looking after your emotional health#
If you feel distressed, frustrated, guilty, exhausted or annoyed, it is important to know these feelings are normal. The emotional demands of caring for someone with a life-limiting illness can be high, so it is important to look after your own emotional needs in order to continue your caring role.
Friends and family can offer significant support, but you may also find it helpful to speak with a healthcare professional such as a counselor. Someone without an emotional connection to you or the person you care for can often help you see things more clearly. A counselor can also suggest ways to balance your caring role with your own needs.
Many healthcare professionals can offer some level of counseling support. A good place to start is your primary care doctor, who can refer you to a specialized counseling service if needed. Carer support organizations may also provide counseling, guidance and practical resources, including guidebooks for family and friends supporting someone who needs palliative care.
Key points#
- While caring for someone, it is important to keep the communication channels open.
- Keep doing the activities you enjoy outside of your caring role.
- As a carer, it is important to look after your own emotional needs.
- This matters so that you can continue your caring role.
Sources & further reading
For evidence-based global guidance on this topic, consult authoritative public-health bodies such as the World Health Organization (WHO), CDC, NHS, and ECDC.