Rural issues - losing the farm

Losing the farm is a highly distressing and difficult experience for a family. The impact can be compared to losing a loved one. In many cases, the farm has been in the family for generations. Losing it can feel like betraying one’s ancestors while robbing one’s children of their birthright.

Grief, guilt, despair and depression are common reactions. It isn’t always possible to turn to immediate family members for support - in some cases, the farm supports three generations (grandparents, parents and children) and its loss means the entire family is in turmoil. Overstretched families can benefit from professional support and advice on how to establish a new way of life.

The transition may take some time#

Some of the grief issues families who lose their farm may face include:

• feelings of guilt failure inadequacy. Grief has many stages - you may not experience them all
• or you may experience the stages in a different order than described here. Your family members may grieve in different ways to you
• so try to respect each other’s feelings during this difficult time

Common feelings could include: – certain things trigger painful memories and feelings; for example, the anniversary of leaving the farm could provoke tears – the ability to look towards your new future with hope and optimism.

Farm families who lose their farms may need a variety of types of help#

These may include: assistance for children relocated to new schools.

Farmers typically pride themselves on their self-sufficiency and independence, so asking for help can be hard to do. In other cases, the family members may not be aware of the extensive range of organizations, both community and government, that are available to offer assistance. It might be a good idea when consulting with an organization to ask if there are any other contacts they could suggest., Customer Service Center. 24-hour phone counseling service. a free financial counseling and debt advice phone service for Americans (includes interpreter services) Losing the farm – grief issues loss of identity, since farming is a way of life, not just a job feeling professionally lost, since most farmers couldn’t imagine doing anything else for a living loss of the family home a sense of having betrayed previous generations, if the farm was in the family for a long time guilt over losing the only substantial inheritance for the children People experience grief in different ways denial – you can’t believe that your worst fears have come true release – physical expression of distress, including sobbing and intense feelings of sadness restlessness – physical reactions including sleeping problems and changes to appetite isolation – the need to pull back from other people and events, and spend time alone with your thoughts remorse – going back over decisions you had made, feeling regret and wishing you could undo the past panic – the inability to think clearly or perform everyday chores confusion – you feel unable to make decisions or plan for the future anger – you start looking for people, organizations or things to blame for your loss idealization – looking back with rose-colored glasses and romanticizing your life on the farm vulnerability acceptance – the emotional realization that things have changed confidence Problems facing farm families information referral services social support emotional support financial counseling financial support education and training for new careers job hunting assistance house hunting assistance Seek professional help

Where to get help#