Safe sex

What is safe sex?#

Safe sex is any sexual contact that helps protect you and your partners against sexually transmissible infections (STIs) and unplanned pregnancy. It avoids the exchange of body fluids such as semen, vaginal fluids or blood. This does not just mean genital sex but any form of sexual contact, including anal, vaginal, oral and some skin-to-skin contact.

Unsafe sex may put you or your sexual partners at risk of STIs. Some STIs, such as syphilis and genital warts, can spread by having sex with an infected partner when a sore or rash is present. Some STIs can also pass from a parent to a baby during pregnancy or at birth.

If left untreated, STIs can cause serious illness and have long-term impacts on your health, including pelvic inflammatory disease (PID) and infertility. STIs are common, and they include:

• Chlamydia
• Gonorrhea
• Syphilis
• Genital warts
• Genital herpes
• HIV
• Hepatitis A, B and C
• Mycoplasma genitalium

Not all STIs have obvious symptoms, so you and your sexual partners may not be aware that you have one. That is why practicing safe sex is important.

Use condoms for safer sex#

Condoms provide the best protection against STIs. They act as a physical barrier to prevent the exchange of body fluids. There is no guarantee that condoms and other barrier methods provide 100% protection against STIs or unplanned pregnancy, but they make sex safer when used correctly.

Types of barrier methods include:

• External (male) condoms: a thin, strong latex pouch that comes in different sizes and styles, because one size does not fit all. Non-latex condoms are available for people who are allergic to latex.
• Internal (female) condoms: a soft pouch made of synthetic rubber with a flexible ring at each end. They come in one size, are already lubricated, and are designed to fit inside the vagina or anus.
• Diaphragm: a soft, shallow silicone cup that fits inside the vagina and covers the cervix. A diaphragm provides good protection against pregnancy, but it does not protect against STIs.

Condoms are widely available from supermarkets, pharmacies, sexual health clinics and family planning clinics. They can also be bought from vending machines and online.

How to use condoms and other barrier methods#

• Use a new, lubricated condom every time you have sex.
• Check the use-by date and do not use a condom past its expiry.
• Open the packet carefully so you do not tear the condom with fingernails, jewelry or teeth.
• Use condoms from the start of sex to the very end, as STIs can be transmitted from pre-ejaculate.
• If you need extra lubricant, use only water-based lubricant. Oil-based lubricants can damage the condom and cause it to break.
• Use condoms on vibrators and sex toys you share with partners.

Other barrier options include latex gloves during manual stimulation of the vagina or anus, and dental dams (a sheet of latex worn over the genitals) during oral sex.

Keep in mind that condoms:

• Do not cover the entire genital skin area, so you may still get an STI such as pubic lice, scabies, genital warts or genital herpes through skin-to-skin contact
• Can be damaged by heat, especially if stored in hot places such as a vehicle glove box for long periods
• Are for single use only and cannot be reused

Other ways to have safer sex#

Sex should be enjoyable, and safer sex means sexual contact when you and your partners are ready. Any form of sex needs to be consensual, and you should feel respected and protected. By law, sex must be consensual, which also means respecting others’ decisions when they say no, or when they are too affected by drugs or alcohol to consent.

Ways to practice safer sex include:

• Talk openly with your partner about your sexual health and your needs.
• Limit your number of sexual partners.
• Get tested for STIs, and get treated if you have one. Avoid sexual contact until you receive medical advice that you are no longer infectious.
• Avoid sex while affected by drugs or alcohol, as this can cloud your judgement.
• Avoid sex if you or your partner have any sores, cuts, ulcers, blisters, warts or rashes around the genitals, mouth or anus, unhealed or inflamed piercings, or a throat infection.

Having sex is only one part of sexual intimacy. Other ways to gain sexual pleasure and build intimacy include foreplay, kissing, cuddling, massage, masturbation (alone or with partners) and ejaculating on unbroken skin.

If someone is pressuring you to have sex or makes you feel uncomfortable, it is okay to say no.

Overcoming barriers to safe sex#

Practicing safe sex does not have to be a chore, and it is something many people enjoy. If you find it hard to start:

• Be prepared. Carry condoms with you and keep them handy at home so you do not have to interrupt sex to look for one.
• If condoms reduce sensation, put a little water-based lubricant on the tip for extra feeling.
• Learn how to use condoms. They may take some getting used to, but that is better than catching an STI.
• Make condoms part of foreplay.
• If you are uncomfortable buying condoms over the counter, they are available from vending machines, online and from sexual health clinics.

Remember that hormonal contraception, such as the pill, mini pill, vaginal ring and long-acting reversible contraception (implants, IUDs and injections), only protects against unplanned pregnancy, not against STIs.

Prioritize your sexual health#

Educate yourself about STIs. Anyone who has sex, or has had sex in the past, is at risk. Do not assume you can tell whether someone has an STI just by looking at them, as many STIs have no obvious signs. STIs are common and do not mean you are “dirty” or “cheap.”

Get tested if you are sexually active, especially if you have sex without a condom. All partners should be tested. Usually a simple blood or urine test is all that is needed.

It is important to get tested if you are planning to start a family or are pregnant.

What to do if you have unsafe sex#

If you have had unprotected sex:

• Do not douche (wash out the vagina or rectum with water or other fluids), as it may irritate delicate tissues and increase the risk of infection.
• Consider emergency contraception, which is most effective the sooner it is taken after unprotected sex.
• If you think you may have been exposed to HIV, see a doctor promptly to assess whether you need post-exposure prophylaxis (PEP), a course of antiviral medication used to prevent HIV that must be started within 72 hours.
• See your doctor or a sexual health service and get tested for STIs.

How often to get tested#

STIs are common, and most people will get one in their lifetime. Most STIs are curable, and all can be treated. If you are sexually active, get tested regularly, at least once a year. Get tested more often, such as every 3 months, if you have multiple partners over a short period.

Also get tested if you notice symptoms after having sex without a condom, if a condom broke or slipped off, or when you start a new relationship, including with casual partners.

If you think you may have or have been exposed to an STI, talk with your local doctor, nurse or health worker, who can help you get the tests you need. Testing, and treatment where necessary, together with condoms, take the worry out of sex. Partner notification services can also help you anonymously tell your sexual partners if you test positive.

Key points#

• Unsafe sex may put you or your sexual partners at risk of STIs.
• If left untreated, STIs can cause serious illness and have long-term impacts on your health.
• Not all STIs have obvious symptoms, which is why practicing safe sex is important.
• Condoms act as a physical barrier to prevent the exchange of body fluids.
• Some situations can increase your risk of unsafe sex, so it helps to plan ahead.

Where to get help#