Sleep - children and nightmares

Most children have nightmares from time to time. Frightening dreams can begin at about two years of age and reach a peak between three and six years. Nightmares usually occur later in the sleep cycle, in the early hours of the morning, although how often they happen varies from one child to the next. Your child might have only a few scary dreams a year, or be troubled by them much more often.

About one quarter of children have at least one nightmare every week. A common theme is being chased by a frightening person or animal.

What causes nightmares#

The exact cause of nightmares is not known, but they are thought to be linked to the ordinary stresses and strains of growing up. Possible contributing factors include:

• an active imagination
• a frightening or traumatic event, such as an accident or surgery (children who have been through such an event often have more frequent nightmares for the following six months or so)
• fever

Coping with your child’s nightmare#

• Go to your child as soon as you can. If their bedroom is far from yours and you might not hear them call or cry, consider using a baby monitor.
• Cuddle and reassure your child, and talk calmly and gently.
• Take their feelings seriously, as they are very real to them. Be prepared to stay until they have calmed down.
• If your child is especially frightened, you may need to soothe them with a favorite but relaxing activity, such as reading a book together.
• If your child wants to talk about the nightmare, encourage them to come up with happy or funny alternative endings.

Try not to make things worse#

Without meaning to, you can sometimes make the situation harder. Try not to:

• Ignore your child. Refusing to go to them only makes them more upset and frantic.
• Get angry. You may suspect your child is putting it on for attention, or simply resent the broken sleep, but showing anger or tension will upset them even more.
• Routinely take them into your bed. When you are tired it is tempting, but it can suggest to the child that sleeping in their own bed is the problem, and eventually they may insist on sleeping with you all the time.

Reducing how often nightmares happen#

You cannot prevent your child from ever having another nightmare, but you may be able to make them less frequent:

• Make sure your child doesn’t watch frightening shows on television or read scary books.
• Consider their daily routine. Is anything troubling them? Stressful events such as a new sibling, moving house or starting school can trigger a run of nightmares.
• Talk about dreams together, and explain that everyone has dreams and the occasional nightmare.
• If your child has a recurring nightmare, help them explore its meaning through drawing, writing or play-acting. Thinking about it creatively, especially coming up with a happier ending or “making friends” with the nightmare character, can help take away its power.

Seek professional advice if needed#

If nightmares are frequent or very distressing, see your doctor for information and a referral.

Key points#

• A common theme in children’s nightmares is being chased by a frightening person or animal.
• The cause of nightmares is not known, but they are thought to relate to the ordinary stresses and strains of growing up.
• Possible contributors include an active imagination, a traumatic event such as an accident or surgery, and fever.

Where to get help#