It can be hard to know whether your preschooler has a genuine sleep or settling concern. If their sleep patterns are not affecting you or your family, and you have strategies that work, then there may not be a problem to solve. You know your child best, so if something worries you, seek advice from your doctor or a child health professional.
What “severe night waking” means#
The description below is a guide, not a diagnosis. Severe night waking is when your child regularly does one or more of the following:
- Consistently wakes more than three times a night
- Consistently takes more than 30 minutes to settle
- Stays awake for 20 minutes or more after waking
- Goes into the parents’ or caregivers’ bed
- Has difficulties with sleep and settling that cause parents or caregivers significant distress
Every preschooler is different, and some will continue to wake overnight.
Responsive settling#
Parents are encouraged to respond to their preschooler’s needs. Responsive settling means recognising when your child needs help and responding appropriately. It is important that your preschooler knows you are emotionally and physically available if they become distressed.
Positive sleep environments and routines also support your preschooler at bedtime. Every family is different, so choose a strategy you feel comfortable with and that suits your child and your family.
Bedtime fading#
Bedtime fading can be used for children from about 2 to 3 years. It is based on the idea of building sleep pressure by limiting time in bed. Your preschooler does not go to bed until they feel naturally tired or drowsy, which can mean fewer night-time wakings.
- Record the time your preschooler falls asleep each night for a week.
- Identify the latest time and set this as the temporary bedtime.
- Once your child falls asleep easily and quickly, gradually bring bedtime forward by 15 minutes every two days until you reach a preferred bedtime with minimal night-time waking.
You can also use this approach to make bedtime earlier if needed.
Rewarding positive sleep behaviour#
Once your child can understand and join in a conversation, you can use a reward chart or “free passes” to encourage positive sleep behaviour.
Reward charts#
Reward charts are tools for changing behaviour and may take the form of wall posters or apps. They track a positive behaviour or goal you want your child to reach, and research shows they can be effective for encouraging good night-time behaviour.
The reward should be given after the good behaviour has been achieved, rather than before, which more closely resembles a bribe. Do not punish your child if they miss out on a reward.
For example, you might give your child a sticker in the morning if they did not call out overnight. After five stickers, they earn a reward, such as a family bike ride, a movie night, or special time with parents or caregivers.
Free passes#
Free passes are another way to reinforce positive sleep behaviour, and you need to be consistent for them to work. Give your preschooler a pass they can use for one acceptable request each night, such as a drink of water or a kiss.
Explain that once they use the pass, they must hand it to you and settle without any more requests or calling out. If your child asks for something unacceptable (such as ice cream or staying up later), or begins protesting loudly and persistently, do not give in, as this will encourage the behaviour to continue.
Helping your preschooler sleep safely#
A cot is no longer a safe sleeping environment for your preschooler if they are trying to climb out, or can climb out. When this happens, it is time to move them to a bed.
Make sure your home and your child’s sleeping area are safe. They should not be able to reach cords, electrical appliances or power points, or get to stairs and windows, as they could hurt themselves if they get up during the night.
Key points#
- It is important that your preschooler knows you are emotionally and physically available if they become distressed.
- Give a reward only after the good behaviour, not before.
- Be consistent with whichever strategy you choose.
Where to get help#
Sources & further reading
For evidence-based global guidance on this topic, consult authoritative public-health bodies such as the World Health Organization (WHO), CDC, NHS, and ECDC.