Trauma and children - newborns to two years

Trauma can have a serious effect on babies and toddlers. Many people wrongly believe that babies do not notice or remember traumatic events. In fact, anything that affects older children and adults in a family can also affect a baby. The difference is that very young children cannot show their reactions as directly as older children can.

Traumatic and life-threatening events can include car accidents, natural disasters, sudden illness, a traumatic death in the family, crime, abuse or violence in the community.

Trauma can seriously disrupt important parts of a child’s development that take place before the age of three. These include forming a bond and relationship with parents, as well as foundational development in language, mobility, physical and social skills, and managing emotions.

Helping the family rebuild a safe, secure and nurturing home is one of the best ways to help a baby or toddler recover.

Why babies and toddlers are so affected#

Babies and toddlers are very helpless and depend on their family and parents for a sense of safety and security. They need emotional nurturing through loving, reassuring interactions, and ongoing, consistent help to cope. This is how babies and toddlers develop and grow.

In their early months and years, children are very sensitive to:

• problems affecting their parents or main caregivers, including fear, sadness or feeling overwhelmed
• separation from a parent or primary carer, for example because of injury or other consequences of the trauma; this has a double impact, combining the distress of the separation itself with the insecurity of coping without their carer’s safety, understanding and nurturing
• what is happening in the household, such as noise, distress or a very mixed-up routine where the child is not sure what will happen next
• difficulty forming a close bond, because trauma can sometimes get in the way of the parent-child relationship

If any of these things are happening, it is important to think about the effect on the baby. If the family or primary carer is affected, the baby is probably also affected.

Common reactions to trauma in babies and toddlers#

When babies or toddlers are exposed to life-threatening or traumatic events, they become very scared, just like anyone else. Common reactions may include:

• appearing numb, not showing feelings, or seeming a bit cut off from what is happening around them
• unusually high levels of distress when separated from a parent or primary carer
• a kind of frozen watchfulness, where the child has a shocked look
• loss of playful, engaging smiling and cooing
• loss of eating skills, or avoiding eye contact
• being more unsettled and much harder to soothe
• slipping back in physical skills such as sitting, crawling or walking, or appearing more clumsy

Structure, predictability and nurturing are key to helping a baby or toddler who has been traumatised.

What parents and carers can do#

There are many things parents and carers can do to help a baby or toddler cope with and recover from trauma:

• Look after yourself first, so you can manage your own shock and emotional response.
• Learn to recognise and manage the child’s signs of stress, and understand their cues for what they are feeling.
• Maintain the child’s routines around being held, sleeping and feeding.
• Offer a calm atmosphere and soothing activities.
• Spend time just being with the child, giving them your full attention and letting communication flow.
• Avoid any unnecessary separations from important caregivers.
• Avoid exposing the child to reminders of the trauma where possible.
• Expect that the child may temporarily regress (go backwards) in their behaviour or become clingy and dependent. This is a normal response to stress and one of the ways a child tries to cope.
• Take time out to recharge yourself.

When to seek help#

A child’s development may slow down for a while and then move forward again. It can be hard to tell whether this is a normal pause or a sign of something more serious. It may help to seek professional advice if:

• development slows down, especially after a traumatic event or major disruption in the family and household
• you feel the trauma has got in the way of knowing your baby, developing close, loving feelings and feeling connected to them; it is important to seek help to get this bonding process back on track
• you or other carers are emotionally unwell with stress, grief, anxiety, exhaustion or depression, which can have a serious effect on the baby or toddler
• you have been separated from the baby or toddler at the time of danger or during its aftermath
• your family has lost their home and community

There is increasing evidence that the younger a child is, the more serious post-traumatic problems can be. Actively seeking help and advice early is important to support recovery. General telephone counselling services can also provide advice and support. If at any time you are worried about your own mental health or that of a loved one, contact a mental health helpline or your doctor.

Key points#

• Trauma can seriously disrupt important aspects of child development that occur before the age of three years.
• If any of these things are happening, it is important to think about the effect on the baby.
• If the family or primary carer is affected, the baby is probably also affected.
• Structure, predictability and nurturing are key to helping a baby or toddler who has been traumatised.
• Maintain the child’s routines around being held, sleeping and feeding.

Where to get help#